Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Speaking With Grace.



Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossian 4:6
Have you sometimes had conversation with somebody in which you finished the conversation knowing that the person was saying the truth, but you were left emotionally drained, abused and deflated? You were probably thinking that you could have said the same things; pass the message across without attacking the ego (self-esteem) of the hearer!
Sometimes people are quick to quote scriptures to justify themselves. After all scripture says that ‘open rebuke is better than secret love’.  So, some have taken the moral high horse, become rude and crude in their approach, all in the name of speaking the truth and being blunt! And when people say that they are blunt, they are sometimes coming from the place of knowledge or success. So they sometimes look down on the less knowledgeable and less successful and talk down on people anyhow.
But our verse today says there is a way that you can pass that message across that will be with grace, seasoned with salt, in answering and talking with everybody. It is instructive to note that everybody has an ego (self-esteem), a sense of self-worth that helps them to function as an independent, confident entity. Whenever you talk to people and seek to attack and damage that self-esteem, you are doing more harm than good.
There may be periods of temptations when your own ego and pride will interfere with the process. You just want to ‘give it’ to the person so that they know who you are and who is ‘in charge’. You want to give them a ‘piece of your mind’ and rubbish them as it were so that you establish dominance. Well, if your purpose is to improve the other person, and show forth the glory of God, it behoves you to find a way to season your speech with salt and speak gracefully.
Okay, I agree that some people have to be told off like Jesus did to the Pharisees of his time because they have heard the truth, have decided not to accept the truth and are also leading others away from accepting the truth. But those instances are really in the minority and of extreme types.
So, when next you have the opportunity of ‘giving a piece of your mind’, halt a little and examine your own motive. If your motive is to improve the person and show forth the glory of God, then you must be graceful in your speech and season it with salt.
To Your success,
Dr K.M Okonoda

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