I just finished the last campaign speech for the post of president of my association. The hall was packed full of electorates whose votes were to decide who the next president would be. The election is an annual event, but many had confessed that they had not seen such intense competition between the contestants in a long time. Needless to say that no other election could be compared to that particular year even now. But as I step outside to catch my breath and relax, one of my junior colleagues came to me, shook my hand and said 'Chief, you are more of a motivational speaker. Your speech was so motivating and inspiring'.
Go back a couple of years earlier.
I had just left home to start my studies in the university. I had done extremely well in the entrance examination and could have secured admission in any university with the kind of score I had. I was therefore suppose to be basking in the euphoria of my success and go on to dominate and conquer the terrain. After all, I have what I wanted, when I wanted it and where I wanted it; the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University (Formerly University of Ife), which by the way had just been rated as the best university in Nigeria! But rather than being full of energy and enthusiasm, I was full of fear and trepidation! Not that I was not sure of my academic abilities, far from it. As a matter of fact, I could say I was so sure of that to the point of arrogance. The issue was that I was not sure of my social abilities! You see, I had lived a somewhat protected life. I had my routine and social circle cut out for me. I had a few friends of similar values and dreams. Some of my best friends up till now were made in secondary school. They were people I was comfortable with and could share many things with. I was considered very confident among them because I had grown very used to them and could talk in their midst freely. As a matter of fact, I had been a leader in our students' fellowship group a couple of times. I was even a prefect in school. But unknown to many, underneath that seemingly confident person was someone who had a gripping fear of being in public gear. I had fear of speaking in public. Come to think of it really, with my good performance in English, I was never a member of the debating society! Nobody bordered to ask me why! Maybe they have assumed that I was really busy with being in the Quiz club. But the truth was, I was very afraid of speaking in public! You see, the quiz competitions are different. You are with your colleague, and you are with your pen and paper. You calculate what you will and give the answer. You are not giving a long speech which is subject to scrutiny and criticism like when you are debating. Everybody assumed I wanted to focus on only one thing not knowing my predicament. Now in the University, I had to interact with many people from different backgrounds and with different orientations, believes and attitudes. Then it dawned on me that I had to do something really fast if I wanted to make a success of my life. After all, the University was my last chance before I get into the outside world and live an independent life.
So, I set at it the best way I knew I could. I started making a lot of friends and acquaintances. I will go and read in the notorious Awo Cafe (if you attended OAU, you will know what I am talking about) and spend half of the time talking with one person or the other. My confidence in social relations started growing. But there was still the hurdle of real public speaking. That menace of having something to say in a meeting and not being able to say it because you are too self conscious and afraid to stand up and talk. You see I have read a lot of books and I have found out that if I wanted to make a success of my life, I must be able to talk and put across my opinions.
Then the big opportunity presented itself. The ban on the Students' Union activities that had hitherto been proscribed was lifted. And all of a sudden I knew that to be able to finally lay to rest my fear of public speaking, I needed to be in the Students Union in one form or the other. You see, I had always admired the eloquence of some of the Students Union officials; so I reckoned that politics will provide a way for me to put myself into public glare.And if I fail to be elected, I would have overcome my fear of rejection as well. That was how I started students' politics. Needless to say that the fear of rejection made me do all that I could to make sure I win the election into the Students Representative Council. I surmoned up courage and campaigned to all and sundry in the Faculty of Basic Medical Sciences, and I won! I enjoyed contributing on the floor of the house so much that I was nominated into various committees. I eventually moved into politics in the college of Health Sciences and became the chairman (Speaker) of the Students' Representative Board. For someone who was afraid of speaking in public and afraid of rejection, I say that was not a small achievement at all. And that in the politically conscious and critical
Obafemi Awolowo University!
So what are the lessons to be learnt from my rather lengthy story?
1. Many people have one fear or the other and you are not alone.
2. You must be courageous and sincere enough to admit it to yourself even if other people don't know.
3. You must enumerate to yourself what the fear you have is making you to lose. For example, are you fulfilled in life with that fear overwhelming you every time you need to do what you know can improve your life?
4.You must highlight how overcoming that fear will help you better in life either to fulfill your dreams, goals or actualize your potentials
5. You must know what it will take you to overcome that fear.
6. You must do what it takes to overcome the fear.
7. You must be prepared to persevere at it until you overcome.
8. The best way to overcome fear is to DO what you are afraid of doing.
By the way, I lost that election to become the president of the association. And it goes down as the only election that I have ever lost! And see, I am still standing and did not die from the 'rejection'.
To your success.
Dr Kingsley Okonoda
@mayorking
CEO
@NetwealthC
www.netwealthconsult.com
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